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Part 4 He Loves Me-He Loves Me NOT

I was so filled with happiness looking down at my blessing from, my son, my love, my reason for living. After about a month or so, being a young mother I felt that my marriage and my home was complete. The violence had stopped, Bill was working and providing for our family, and my thoughts were “Finally Our Marriage Is Working.” As time went on I beginning to see changes in bill. He started staying out later and later, so me being his wife I asked him where was he spending his time? and why did I ask him that, I must have been out of my mind, but I thought that since everything was going so well it was only right that I ask this of him. He looked at me and said “Don’t you EVER question Me on my goings and comings. At this very moment I saw the old Bill, the old Bill with the devil in his eyes. After a few months of being home I went back to work at my father’s day care center, which was a big outlet for me. Being around kids and so much love was therapy for me. My most important concern was focusing on my son and my love, support and protection for him. My mind would go in so many directions and I realized that when I wasn’t at home is when I was the happiest. I remember one evening my son and I was at my mother-in-law house having dinner and just spending time with her. She was such a sweetheart, loving and kind lady. As we were talking I looked at the scar around her neck (which I had seen so many times before, but never asked about it), but this particular evening it really captured my attention. I asked if she didn’t mine telling me what happened to her (because I always thought it may have been from surgery), but she went on to tell me what happen. She said that one night she and her husband had an argument and one thing led to another and reached for a knife and slit her throat. My heart drop and I began to think about myself and my son and what really scared me is that my husband had witness that horrible event. At this moment I realized that I am gambling with our lives. Next Part 5 Drugs, Rape Please read Parts 1-3 to understand Even though it's been years I can only write so much at a time, because these flashbacks really get to me. Be Blessed Spread Love Share Love Embrace Love Lorraine